I’m into communications strategy  –  the big-picture side of clear, effective communications.

But my readers seem to be into grammar tidbits. I’ve gotten a lot of tweets and Facebook comments over my e-letters on usage pet peeves.  Because the Prime Directive of clear, effective communication is to meet the audiences’ needs, here’s a reader request: the difference between lie and lay.

This one is so much fun that it takes most of this e-letter, but there’s a bonus section at the bottom of Words (and Phrases) That Aren’t.

The difference between lie and lay starts out simple and quickly gets confusing (and sometimes risqué).

• Lie is what something or someone does.
• Lay is what someone or something does to someone or something else.

If you’re into grammatical terms, lie is an intransitive verb, meaning that it does not take an object, while lay is a transitive verb, meaning that it needs an object, something that receives the action.

• Harry lies around the house all day.
• He lays his head on the sofa pillow and never moves it again.

So far, so good, right? Lie is what you do to yourself and lay is what you do to something (or someone) else. (Get your mind out of the gutter!)

Things can lie, too. Once you lay the book on the table, it lies there until you pick it up.

The distinction works for metaphorical or abstract uses as well.

• The executive director lays the foundation of our strategy.
• The responsibility for our success lies with her.

If you want to talk only about what is going on right now, you’re golden. However, if you want to talk about something that happened in the past, it gets dodgy.

The past tense of lie, in the sense of recline or rest, is lay.

I know, right? Don’t look at me; I don’t make the rules.

If I made the rules, lie in the sense of recline or rest would work the same as lie in the sense of tell an untruth: lie, lied, lied.

• Harry lies all the time.
• Last week he lied about his marital status.
• He has lied about his age on all his job applications.

But lie in the sense of recline or rest conjugates like this: lie, lay, lain.

• Harry lies around the house all day.
• He lay around the house all last week, too.
• He has lain around a lot lately.

And that’s why conscientious people get lie and lay mixed up.

Lay in the sense of set [something] down is slightly more logical. The present is lay, the past is laid, and the past participle is also laid.

• I usually lay the baby in the crib.
• I laid him there yesterday.
• In fact, I have laid him in his crib at least once a day for his entire life.

How to get it right
To remember the distinction between lie and lay in the present tense, just ask yourself whether a hen lays or lies an egg. If it has an object, a thing that gets laid  –  yes, this rule applies equally to the colloquial use – the word is lay.

Beyond that, I have nothing for you. The distinction between lie and lay is inherently confusing. I can think of three options:

• Memorize the forms: lie, lay, lain; lay, laid, laid.
• Avoid the whole issue by using synonyms (rest, set) or  -ing forms: Harry was lying on the couch.
• Trust your editor.

Words (and Phrases) That Aren’t

It’s so much fun when people mishear common words or phrases and then try to write what they think they’ve heard. Here are a few examples I’ve seen recently:

• For all intensive purposes. That would be “for all intents and purposes,” a phrase that only lawyers actually need to use.
• One in the same. No, it’s “one and the same,” a phrase that illustrates its own meaning because “one” is the same as “the same.” (I can’t believe I just wrote that sentence.)
• Ostensively. A dictionary would let you know that the word is ostensibly.
• Supposably. Oy. This one is so common it will probably make it into some dictionaries pretty soon.

Are you up for more grammar and usage pet peeves? Ensure / insure / assure, anyone? I wonder if you would be interested in punctuation and mechanics tips, like Why You Should Capitalize “Is” When It Appears in a Title and “whether the punctuation goes inside or outside the quotation marks.”  Let me know.