When I glanced out my second-story window, I saw a dead body in my neighbor’s pickup.

When I did a double-take, I saw what you see here: a soccer ball and some snow shovels. (In case you can’t see it, the ball is the head. Still can’t see it? Well, now I can’t either.)

But here’s the thing: Now I’m a little weirded out about my neighbor. Until I saw the dead body in his truck, I thought he was a perfectly decent hardworking landscaper. My brain says that he still is. But my heart says he is at best a body-snatcher and at worst a murderer.

Hearts don’t listen to logic. One quick little misimpression becomes a bad impression, and the damage is done.

My misreading of the contents of my neighbor’s truck was no one’s fault but my own. Still, had I been my neighbor’s communications director, I would have advised him to keep the shovels in the truck bed but to move the soccer ball somewhere else.

When I point out to clients that a headline or an announcement can be misread, they often say, “But that’s not what it says. People should read more carefully!” True enough, they should read more carefully. But they might not, and we can’t make them.

All we can do is to try to anticipate how our headlines or announcements can come across, and then rewrite like mad until we have eliminated every misreading we can think of. We don’t want anyone to think we’re carrying metaphorical corpses in our metaphorical trucks.

Loss of goodwill, even a momentary bad impression of your organization, is probably the most deadly consequence of a misreading. The cost is incalculable; you never know what you have lost. If I needed a landscaper for my tiny lawn, I would contact my neighbor–unless I knew of another landscaper whose prices and services were competitive. My neighbor would never know he had lost my business, much less why.

In the case of announcements or instructions, the cost can be more easily calculated. If people can’t figure out how to register or purchase or donate, you lose revenue. At best, you lose staff time repairing the damage.

I can hear your objection: “But we can’t control how people might misread our materials.” True, but there’s a lot we can do:

• Consider your audience. Identify your target demographic. Better yet, know who your best prospects are. Pick a person; give her a name, a job, a family, a hobby. Close your eyes and be that person. Now open your eyes and read this pitch written by someone you don’t know and don’t care about (that’s you, in real life).
• Make your call to action clear. Still imagining yourself as this specific audience member, ask yourself, “What am I supposed to do now? How am I supposed to do it?”
• Roofpread carefully. Better yet, get someone else to proofread for you. For a document of any importance–and particularly one that you’re going to pay good money to design and print–hire a professional proofreader. They don’t cost nearly as much as misreadings and misimpressions do. If you don’t know a proofreader, email me and I’ll help you find someone.
• Consider your audience. Yes, this comes first and last. Now that you’ve done as much as you can on your own, get someone who is actually in your target audience or demographic, or as close as you can get on short notice, to read your piece. Ask that person:
  • What does this say?
  • What should you do now?
  • How can I make this easier for you to understand?

Make it clear that you are the one being tested, not the reader, and don’t get defensive if the reader rips into your deathless prose. Take every bit of feedback seriously, even if you don’t finally implement it.

You can’t prevent every possible misreading. Some nut may well see a metaphorical corpse in your metaphorical pickup. But with a little care, and a little help, you can reduce misreadings–and eliminate the really deadly ones.